I
know blog buddies; it has been a bit since my last post. Suffice to say I was busy with stuff. Not just any normal stuff… well… actually it
was pretty normal stuff. I mean… normal
for me. But what is normal? I think the humor that is the comedy of life,
is that everyone has created what is supposed to be a certain level of normal
that we all download and abide by. If
you don’t meet that level of normal, you’re weird: whether you are too normal, or not normal
enough.
All
of my life people have been telling me what normal is. I have strived for it. Worked hard and proceeded towards a “normal”
life. I don’t like their version of
normal. And that is really all that it
is. Their version of normality that we
don’t all quite reach at the end of the day.
Some people have told me I’m weird, some have said I’m boring, and some
more have said I’m a good guy. (And some
have said far worse.) I’ve never been
one to except compliments (or insults) because what if their version of a good
guy isn’t the same as mine. They might
not uphold the same values of what good means to me. What if I’m not their kind of normal?
I
think of normal as perception. I perceive
my own person at a certain level of my own version of normal. (I like to call it Normal-Drew v2.21. It’s still a work in progress.) But aren’t we all works in progress? That is the beautiful thing about life. That we are allowed to perceive it in any
manner with which we choose. (Insert
clever government and scientology jab here.)
I think where we as people begin to go wrong, is that we have some weird
necessity to make everything fit into our normal-box.
It
doesn’t fit though. We are all souls of
thousands of different shapes and colors and consistencies. The world doesn’t fit into our
normal-boxes. And it is truly a
beautiful thing. Not everyone feels the
way I feel about it. There are bunches
of people who don’t. (Insert customary
political rambling here.) They believe
that if we don’t fit naturally into their normal-box, we should be forced to
fit. (Broken down, shave a little off
the side, take a little off the top, and remove the excess fat.) Like we as individuals are supposed to strive
for their version of normal, and disregard everything else that makes us who we
are, and more than that, makes us human beings.
Those little imperfections that make us all so unique and quite frankly
perfect.
Then,
there are those of us who don’t feel like they can fit the world into their
normal-boxes, and that means that they don’t have a place in the world. I know that feeling. That lost feeling, those haze of memories
(always bad) that captivate your mind. A
recovering alcoholic told me once, that it is the nights that get you. During the day, you stay so busy that
sometimes you even forget that you’re alone. You’re surrounded by people and conversations
and the formal (and informal) exchange of ideas. The constant chatter of a million things
going on at once. All those colorful and
extravagant souls constantly running into one another at blinding speeds
creating an explosion of brilliant light.
But at night, in the quiet. You
find yourself in bed, listening to the hum of your fan, feeling the cold and
empty sheets next to you, and looking out into the darkness that is your
ceiling. It’s those long nights. Sometimes you can’t sleep, and all you can do
is sit with yourself and face hard truths, with no one around to offer a
rebuttal. You’re left with nothing but
empty thoughts, unanswered questions, and the need to escape.
I
think most of us feel that we don’t fit.
I know I do. I’ve had those
sleepless nights, and there are times when I wanted to force others to fit into
my normal-box. But that isn’t what life
is about. I believe that people should
be free to think whatever they want. To
feel anything they want to feel. I
believe that is why we call it free will.
It is not a right; it is our nature.
Sometimes we can only fit one soul into our normal-box. There will be times when we can fit
many. There are going to be souls you
want to keep with you forever, but they can’t always fit, and you have to let
them go. Life is not a line; it is a
circle, where we all walk the Earth and discover that there is more beauty in
the world. We live through those
sleepless nights, so that we can rest in the arms of someone we love later
on. And we will come back around to
those sleepless nights, after loved ones have left us. But we’ll remember then what it felt like to
be held. To sleep quietly in the night
and to smile. To look across the room,
see that face, and smile. It isn’t that
laugh at a joke smile, or that pleased with how your day went smile. No, it is the smile of knowing happiness and
being unable to stop yourself from feeling it crawl across your skin. You can’t stop the tidal wave of happiness
that flows from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Happiness happens to us all, and so does
sadness. Life isn’t the perfect amount
of either. We have to make do with what
we get. And remember to how to smile
when things always seem to go wrong.
So
here is the challenge for us all. Open
up your version of normal. Download a
few patches, and send in your bug reports.
Make sure you get a good firewall to keep your OS safe. Get the proper virus software, and run
thorough system scans, so your version of normal can always be at its optimal
running speed. Enjoy the beauty. It doesn’t last forever, but if you do it
right, it runs for just as long as you need it to.
LAZY
Rhino, CEO
Andrew
(If you like this blog, or any of my other ones,
follow me on Twitter @ANDCauthen. Feel
free to comment and tell me how I’m doing.)
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