I
was thinking about the Sims this week. I
reminisced about all the good times I had playing the game. AND how frustrating the simulated life is
portrayed. It’s like they wanted to draw
real world parallels from the game and actual life. Maybe it’s in the title. Or maybe, just maybe it is in all of us… or I
have no idea. I just wanted to talk
about the Sims. (Don’t judge me.)
The
Sims games have such an interesting premise.
You create a character and they interact with a home that you build for
them. And after hard work and perseverance,
they will rise up in the world and become The President… something like that
anyway.
But
what I like most about the Sims is that first day. Everything feels so new. Your Sim is dropped into a world of
wonder. They are finally on their
own. They can do whatever they want
to. The simulated world is their tomato,
made to order however they like. It is
akin to an actual person moving in on their own. And seeing this wondrous new world laid out
for them, like a new pair of pants. This
is the feeling most people get when they first begin to exist without the help
of their parents. The tingling your body
feels right before the soul crushing moment when you realize financial independence
isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.
Your
Sim doesn’t know those feelings however.
They only know that they want to watch T.V. on the new set, sit on the
new couch, and maybe after a little while make themselves a grilled cheese
sandwich. So, your Sim goes to the
kitchen and begins to prepare a grilled cheese sandwich. They prep that bad boy/girl and get it ready
to heat it up. Your Sim turns on the
brand new stove; not the really expensive one you wanted, but the one that
would get the job done. Makin’ that
grilled cheese. Because your Sim is
brand new to this world, they do not know how to cook. In fact, they have no discernible skill set
at all. They are much like an infant Sim
in an adult Sim’s body. It begs the
question of what they have been doing for the past few Sim years when they were
at Sim University, or Sim Community College.
(Probably a lot of Sim Beer Pong and the minimum amount of Sim
studying.)
The
game has a weird way of portraying your Sim not knowing how to cook. It basically increases the chances of
starting a fire by like 100%. If the Sim
even looks over at the kitchen I think there is like a 46% chance of the
character just bursting into flames. May
have to fact check that one. So, back to
the grilled cheese your Sim desperately wanted.
The little dickens turns that stove on and the grilled cheese sizzles to
life. Then, the life it sizzles to
transforms into a wild fire. At first
just the stove catches fire. The
countertop follows soon after that. Your
fridge becomes engulfed next. And you
loved that fridge. It was so reasonably
priced. As your kitchen is set ablaze,
you wonder how things could have been different. If you had known that putting a fire alarm
over the stove would call the Sim Fire Department, you may have done that. But how could you know? You’re as new to this simulated life as the
character you created. An infant god
sent to control the life of a being with no sense of self preservation. Instead of going to the phone to call for
help, your Sim will start off the by dancing and screaming at the fire. As though they could shout it out. Realistically, it looks like a person
praising the rise of their grilled cheese sandwich overlord. The Overlord has finally come to save the
world from the plight of the Sims. (The
only way of course being a baptism by fire.)
As
your small minded character dances next to the fire and screams, helpless to
stop the growing threat, they begin to catch fire as well. And in that first day, you finally became an
adult. You lived a real life
situation. You also died… for a grilled
cheese sandwich. I know, so much like
real life. In fact, I’m dying for a
grilled cheese right now. That is beside
the point.
However
frustrating the Sims can be, it mostly makes me feel bad about myself. Because, no matter how stupid your Sim starts
out, they can master entire skill sets and career tracks in a matter of
weeks. It kind of makes you wonder what
you might be able to accomplish in a week. (Instead of playing The Sims.) You could be a rock star, a master chef, the
President, or even a grand wizard.
(Well, the first three are a little iffy, but the wizard thingy… go with
that!)
Such
is the simulated life. I could probably
master the guitar if I could speed through the practice process like they
can. All of that aside, the game really
does make you wonder what you’re doing wrong sometimes. Then you remember that you haven’t created
anyone else, so he is playing to an audience of no one in his/her rock
shows. Giving the State of the Simunion
address to an entire coliseum of emptiness.
Of a country that elected a man who couldn’t make a grilled cheese
sandwich two weeks ago. Now I don’t feel
as bad. I think the main lesson learned
from the Sims is… anyone can be President if everyone else dies making grilled
cheese sandwiches.
LAZY
Rhino (CEO)
Andrew
(If you like my blogs follow me on Twitter
@ANDCauthen. Also feel free to talk
about your favorite Sim moments in the comments section. The Sim moments will now be known as
Simoments. Love that word fusion. Now roll that beautiful bean footage.)
No comments:
Post a Comment