Just a Moment

            This is like a part two of my inspirational blogs.  Not that you found the last one all that inspiring.  Or at least it isn’t for me to say whether or not you did.  Don’t worry video game fans; I WILL get back to talking about games.  It is like 90% of what I talk about on Facebook anyway.  So that transition will be there… I swear it!

            This weekend passed by me quite rapidly.  I attended the very beautiful wedding of two very good friends.  (JON and LIZANNE.)  I love them both very much and I had a blast at their reception, as I am sure they did as well, and at this point are probably having an even better time on their honeymoon.  But, the entire thing (as major life events often do) got me thinking about life. 

            A simple explanation of life is a series of major moments strung together by minor moments.  However, today I really began to think about the sub-minor moments.  It is often said that it is the little things in life that get you.  Not those major moments which often live up to the earth shaking expectations you have for them.  Your wedding, your first kiss, having a child, graduation, getting your driver’s license; take your pick, they all in some way stand out in your memory whether it is good or bad.  There are even some major events that are more earth shattering.  The death of a loved one, breaking up with your significant other of so many years, the first time you’re bullied for something you can’t control, car accidents you are in, accidents you create, and every horrible thing in between.  All these things touch your life and shape you (or change you) on a fundamental level you didn’t know possible, for better or for worse.  So much so, that we forget about the little things.

            WE as a group allow these moments to define us, even though there are so many more moments we forget about.  I’m not challenging you to live in the moment.  Because I have no right to tell you how you should live or view your life (and I certainly lack the experience in living in the moment, myself).  I’m just trying to remind you about the little things.  The good stuff; hugs from a loved one, a cool glass of water on a hot day, ice cream, the patter of rain on a tin roof, or the sound of rushing water in a river.  The companionship of your dog(s), the smell of peppermints or warm cookies, and maybe even the smell of fresh cut grass.  Simple things that we forget all the time.  Simple joys that are often overlooked due to how small or often they happen.  Sometimes it’s a text from a friend right when you need it the most, and sometimes it’s just one dance.  These little things are so often considered trivial and so we forget them.  What are we if we forget these tiny moments?  The little things are the glue that holds the big things together.  They are our foundation.

            Even the bad moments are there.  From the first time you scraped your knees, or the time you were picked last to play on a team, to even an offhand remark from a person you don’t even know.  The first time you track mud through the house and get in trouble, or every single time you were (unjustly) punished with a time out or grounding.  How we let these little moments affect us is how we should be defined.  Such small and insignificant things as these, and yet they leave scars that we sometimes carry for what seems like an eternity.  It’s easier to assume the worst.  So, we leave all the good moments behind us.  They were flukes, random events in an otherwise lightless life. 

            I’m not asking you to get over these things.  The universe knows that I haven’t let go of a great deal of my past.  Many small bad moments that I allow to blot out all of the best moments.  The little things.  A lingering smile, a good book, an even better joke.  Looking across the room at the person you love, meeting their eyes and just knowing that this person is important, even if this moment with them isn’t.  We’re all just a mess of particles floating through and colliding with other messes.  And dammit if we shouldn’t enjoy every second we have, even the bad.  Feel the pain of your scrapes or the empty feeling in your chest and stomach after he/she departs from your life.  Feel the music as it plays inside your heart or as you march to the beat of your drum.  The next moment may be huge, or it may be smaller even than the one before.  But it is your moment.  Cherish that you have it.  Every ache is a reminder that you are still alive, and every great moment is one that reminds you why you endure those aches.  Every smile and kiss.  Every time you hold hands or hug each other.  These are your moments.  All of them.  From those that shape your life to those are often lost in between.  They are yours.  And we shouldn’t want it any other way.

                                                                                    LAZY Rhino, CEO

                                                                                                Andrew

(If you like my blog, follow me on the Twitters @ANDCauthen.  I’m don’t tweet often, but I update people on this blogging I’ve been doing.)

Open Up That Brand New Normal-Box

            I know blog buddies; it has been a bit since my last post.  Suffice to say I was busy with stuff.  Not just any normal stuff… well… actually it was pretty normal stuff.  I mean… normal for me.  But what is normal?  I think the humor that is the comedy of life, is that everyone has created what is supposed to be a certain level of normal that we all download and abide by.  If you don’t meet that level of normal, you’re weird:  whether you are too normal, or not normal enough. 

            All of my life people have been telling me what normal is.  I have strived for it.  Worked hard and proceeded towards a “normal” life.  I don’t like their version of normal.  And that is really all that it is.  Their version of normality that we don’t all quite reach at the end of the day.  Some people have told me I’m weird, some have said I’m boring, and some more have said I’m a good guy.  (And some have said far worse.)  I’ve never been one to except compliments (or insults) because what if their version of a good guy isn’t the same as mine.  They might not uphold the same values of what good means to me.  What if I’m not their kind of normal?

            I think of normal as perception.  I perceive my own person at a certain level of my own version of normal.  (I like to call it Normal-Drew v2.21.  It’s still a work in progress.)  But aren’t we all works in progress?  That is the beautiful thing about life.  That we are allowed to perceive it in any manner with which we choose.  (Insert clever government and scientology jab here.)  I think where we as people begin to go wrong, is that we have some weird necessity to make everything fit into our normal-box.

            It doesn’t fit though.  We are all souls of thousands of different shapes and colors and consistencies.  The world doesn’t fit into our normal-boxes.  And it is truly a beautiful thing.  Not everyone feels the way I feel about it.  There are bunches of people who don’t.  (Insert customary political rambling here.)  They believe that if we don’t fit naturally into their normal-box, we should be forced to fit.  (Broken down, shave a little off the side, take a little off the top, and remove the excess fat.)  Like we as individuals are supposed to strive for their version of normal, and disregard everything else that makes us who we are, and more than that, makes us human beings.  Those little imperfections that make us all so unique and quite frankly perfect.

            Then, there are those of us who don’t feel like they can fit the world into their normal-boxes, and that means that they don’t have a place in the world.  I know that feeling.  That lost feeling, those haze of memories (always bad) that captivate your mind.  A recovering alcoholic told me once, that it is the nights that get you.  During the day, you stay so busy that sometimes you even forget that you’re alone.  You’re surrounded by people and conversations and the formal (and informal) exchange of ideas.  The constant chatter of a million things going on at once.  All those colorful and extravagant souls constantly running into one another at blinding speeds creating an explosion of brilliant light.  But at night, in the quiet.  You find yourself in bed, listening to the hum of your fan, feeling the cold and empty sheets next to you, and looking out into the darkness that is your ceiling.  It’s those long nights.  Sometimes you can’t sleep, and all you can do is sit with yourself and face hard truths, with no one around to offer a rebuttal.  You’re left with nothing but empty thoughts, unanswered questions, and the need to escape. 

            I think most of us feel that we don’t fit.  I know I do.  I’ve had those sleepless nights, and there are times when I wanted to force others to fit into my normal-box.  But that isn’t what life is about.  I believe that people should be free to think whatever they want.  To feel anything they want to feel.  I believe that is why we call it free will.  It is not a right; it is our nature.  Sometimes we can only fit one soul into our normal-box.  There will be times when we can fit many.  There are going to be souls you want to keep with you forever, but they can’t always fit, and you have to let them go.  Life is not a line; it is a circle, where we all walk the Earth and discover that there is more beauty in the world.  We live through those sleepless nights, so that we can rest in the arms of someone we love later on.  And we will come back around to those sleepless nights, after loved ones have left us.  But we’ll remember then what it felt like to be held.  To sleep quietly in the night and to smile.  To look across the room, see that face, and smile.  It isn’t that laugh at a joke smile, or that pleased with how your day went smile.  No, it is the smile of knowing happiness and being unable to stop yourself from feeling it crawl across your skin.  You can’t stop the tidal wave of happiness that flows from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.  Happiness happens to us all, and so does sadness.  Life isn’t the perfect amount of either.  We have to make do with what we get.  And remember to how to smile when things always seem to go wrong.

            So here is the challenge for us all.  Open up your version of normal.  Download a few patches, and send in your bug reports.  Make sure you get a good firewall to keep your OS safe.  Get the proper virus software, and run thorough system scans, so your version of normal can always be at its optimal running speed.  Enjoy the beauty.  It doesn’t last forever, but if you do it right, it runs for just as long as you need it to.

 

                                                                                    LAZY Rhino, CEO

                                                                                                Andrew

(If you like this blog, or any of my other ones, follow me on Twitter @ANDCauthen.  Feel free to comment and tell me how I’m doing.)